The Curse Of Chris Genn

K, so there isn't a curse but I just thought it would be hilarious to mention Chris on here. Mainly after he failed to let people know (most relevantly Alex) his new mobile number apart from me however my phone was too stupid as to store his new number, so we have subsequently lost contact with the man, the legend. So where are you Chris? Don't become The Next Robe™

Alyson Hannigan

22 TODAY!!!!!!

Not me, but Robin Jones. So happy birthday, and by your msn name I assume your meeting your friends at the Hogs Head at 7.30pm? Thanks for the invitation mate! BTW I've sent a hitman there to kill you, I hope you like your birthday present bwahahahahaha! Only joking of course, but what the hell...will we ever see you again? It's like TV's Lost, you just don't know what the hell is going to happen.

Shock Horror 2!!

Wtf? Alyson Hannigan is 32! I thought she was about 10 years younger than that.

Deal...Or No Deal?

22 people
22 sealed boxes
22 different cash prizes
One Question: Deal or No Deal?

It's been a huge success across the world, mainly thanks to the people who we can mock when they loose all of their money or cheer when they beat the banker. Noel makes the game what it is certainly in this country, i'm assuming there are foreign versions of Noel Edmonds hosting the shows around the world. It's good, but the "free web entry" is a piece of shit and it hardly ever works. -And thanks, I will have that suitcase of money. Cheers.

Shock Horror!!

The sheriff in Invasion is actually Chris Genn!
So he doesn't work at Centre Parks...!

Robe-Gate

All Beacuse Of A Stupid "Pheasant" is still his online name and his current staus is set to (Away) Highly suspicious indeed.

EDIT: His new msn name is Anyone Need A Stripper? His picture is of a cartoon female pornstar. Oh Robe, selling your body for sex...I always knew it would come to this.

Resident Evil 5

Below are a few screens from what will eventually be Resident Evil Five, the last game in the series was probably the best console game of all time so "no pressure" for the next one then. Apparently it's only in the very early stages and there is "barely even a game there" so I wouldnt be suprised if Capcom churned out the trailer and these screens for hype alone and that the final product may look nothing like this...but you never know. These screens would suggest a return to the zombies of old, and the trailer hints that there will be varried levels of infection of zombies (think: 28 days later style infectoids to the slow and stumbling zombies of Resident Evil old)

MSN Messenger

You can tell quite a lot from people's MSN Messenger names, especially the ones I have online at the moment. Me and Shough both had V as our name when we came online due to the fact that we saw V For Vendetta last night, though Shough now has a Lynx advert related name: Click. Anyhoo, Muffett's name states that he misses someone and misses their smile. We conclude that he misses me and my smile since I've been gone from Waitrose. Sorry Muffett, but this smile is taken! Meanwhile Hazel (who may or may not be hiding behind her hazel eyes, though they're probably brown) has: Myspace 1, Facebook 0; Which must mean she conducted some sort of battle royale between two websites and that Myspace won! And then there's Robe who seems to have been molested by a pheasant, who he feels deep hatred towards and is reluctant to speak about...Either that or he's been having some kind of a relationship with said bird and has been harshly dumped. Oh and if I hadn't blocked Stevo I'm sure his name would be: (*)Matt(*)...Just because he can't think of another name!

Where's Robe?

In an epic search that now matches any of those legendary double page Where's Wally spreads (oh the memories of Where's Wally In Hollywood) me and the Shoughmeister are on the lookout for Robe (aka The Artist Formally Known As Robin Jones) in an attempt to kidnap/talk to him...And all because he stole some CDs from Woolworths...or so he did in a dream I had the other day anyway! Did I mention I saw Joe Jones the other day...No wait that was a dream too. It's alright I'll wake up in a minute!

RobeWatch Update: Robe came online as I was writing this post and is currently being interviewed and tortured for information!

One Post Made To Order

So the video for El Manana by Gorillaz is something short of epic! It's like the Feel Good Inc. video being destroyed right before your very eyes. It does, of course, join the long (not so long) list of breathtaking animated videos by Gorillaz, which even if you hate the music, you can't possibly fail to like the videos. You can view it somewhere, but I've no idea where, even though I was just given the link! Ah, here it is.

Btw Fallout Boy suck and the best thing about them is their name which they stole from The Simpsons! Animation rules the roost people!

Remember Me?

Insert post by me here!

Funny: The Pilot

Introduction:

Two people, trying to think of something funny. That's it. This is us, this is our idea of comedy (sort of) No plot, just jokes. It's not even properly finished, let us know what you think.

Written By Justin Shough.

Justin: Come on that’s funny right?

Alex: What? Us re-imagining James Bond but with a Chinese guy as 007? How exactly is that funny?

Justin: Come on! James Chong...It writes itself

Alex: You realise we would get hunted down by Chinese secret service agents who think we are being racist? Besides how many Chinese people do you know called James?

Justin (thinks: Maybe he’s right...Jackie Chan might break my legs...I need my precious legs)

Justin: What do you know about the chinese secret service? Anyway I’m sure they would be flattered

Alex: Well, let’s put that bright idea in the "I’m going to kill you if you don’t think of anything actually funny" pile

Justin: It’s a good pile, homeless people could live within its warm folds

Alex: Yes, while in the mean time we can’t come up with a decent idea for a comedy program and our lives are in the gutter, well your life is...mine is relatively gutter-free

Justin: That’s highly debateable; anyway my idea was far better than yours

Alex: The Dog That Knew Too Much© is comedy gold

Justin: Admit it, it’s just Lassie with bells and whistles

Alex: It’s nothing of the sort, it’s got British Comedy Awards written all over it.

Justin: Yeah mainly because you took a marker pen and wrote that all over it

Alex: I'm not listening. Anyway, the set up for the show, a dog... that witnesses a grizzly murder in downtown Manhattan

Justin: I thought it was set in London?

Alex: Yeah but that’s the genius, if we set it in Manhattan we get to travel presumably first class all expenses paid courtesy of our pals at the BBC or Channel4 if they pick us up instead and why wouldn’t they? Anyway the dog is the only one that can solve the murder, and call it divine intervention or whatever but a rookie NY cop befriends him and together they solve this crime, and that’s just the beginning, I’m thinking big, *comedic pause* syndication big

Justin: So, it’s some kind of Turner and Hooch, Lassie, The Horse Whisperer hybrid?

Alex: You obviously read the promo poster I designed on my laptop!

Justin (looks at laptop screen, reads out poster): The Dog That Knew Too Much, funnier than Turner and Hooch, more emotional than Lassie, starring Alex Gilmour as a rookie NY cop with a moustache more hilariously epic than Tom Selleck

Justin: Okay, here are the flaws and get your notepad rookie because there are several, nobody is ever going to read a poster with a tag line that long, and why do you get to be the lead? And where’s my mention? Turner and Hooch wasn’t even funny, and you can’t even grow a moustache

Alex: They could computer generate it, like with Tom Hanks in the Road To Perdition, double click on somesortofamoustache© on the desktop of my laptop

Justin: It makes you look like Osama Bin Gilmour, a new age terrorist

Alex: Anyway, shouldn’t you be going to work or something?

Justin: No, you know we both booked today off worked so we can brain storm ideas for our show

Alex: It’s just I thought I could have some alone time

Justin: Why? Your not going to cut me out of your life forever and write your own comedy show are you?

Alex (laughs manically): Actually I thought I might go on a magical mystery tour, maybe have a hard days night maybe take a trip down Abbey Road, maybe put a gun on you…some sort of a revolver...do you see where I’m going with this?

Justin (looks blankly): You’re what now?

Alex: You might say I’m going to listen to Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

Justin: Are they a new band? Like the awesome The Bravery? It was an honest mistake!

Alex: No, the Beatles...I’m talking about the band that defined a generation, the band that if McCartney and Starr were dead would be playing a gig to God in heaven right now, I can’t believe you compared the Beatles to The Bravery, who does that lead singer think he is? Some kind of less offensive version of Marilyn Manson or something!

Justin: You can’t disregard the cultural relevance of The Bravery, they grabbed the 1980’s by the bollocks and brought them back into the 006, the 006 man!

Alex: What about if we make some kind of musical comedy, a mus-com if you will

Justin: No it’s already been done by The Mighty Boosh, that show is like fire, you can’t touch it, unless your prepared to get burned, after all the boosh is loose and it’s coming at you like a lion with wings

Alex: I have no idea what you just said, but fine. Back to the drawing board, not that we actually have a drawing board

Justin: What about if we made a comedy about us trying to make a comedy

Alex (looks directly at camera): Do you really, believe for a second that anybody would actually buy into that idea?

Justin: What about a comedy about the life and times of Cilla Black

Alex: Well it would be a lora lora laughs ha, ha!

Justin: A throw away joke, but a good one!

Alex: What about a sci-fi comedy, that’s original

Justin: Starship Beaverprise it is then

Alex: No

Justin: Deep Space Beaver?

Alex: It doesn’t always have to have something about beavers in it

Justin: Without the beavers it’s just Red Dwarf but a comedy

Alex: Wasn’t Red Dwarf a comedy?

Justin (laughs manically): I didn’t hear anyone laughing

Alex: That’s some nice laughter

Justin: Thanks, I think that when we get our comedy show we should have canned maniacs laughing all the way, but seriously Doug Naylor and Rob Grant, creators and writers of Red Dwarf are like my all time sci-fci comedy heroes

Alex: Its okay you don’t have to feel guilty, it’s not like there are two less funny people sitting somewhere bad mouthing us

*cut to Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant*

Gervais: It’s just two people talking, where’s the character driven plots?

Merchant: Yeah and why aren’t they doing any funny little dances?

Gervais: Why did you have to bring up the dance?

Merchant: Come on you looked like a gorilla at feeding time

*cuts back to Alex and Justin*

Alex: Ha, ha!

Justin: Something amusing is it?

Alex: Well...

Justin: Oh, is it too high brow for me, wouldn’t I get it

Alex: Oh, with that again

Justin: You called me a hobo twice yesterday

Alex: I merely said you reminded me of a hobo because you hadn’t shaved in a few days, don't be offended...you carry the hobo-look so well! Your the next generation of hobo, that is more widely accepted than all previous generations!

Justin: I’ve been burnt before, by you and your high standards. Nothing is ever good enough

Alex: Come on, plenty of things have been good enough

Justin (pulls list of things that haven’t been good enough for Alex out of his back pocket): Okay, movies: the lord of the rings trilogy wasn’t long enough, the matrix sequels didn’t make sense, Spiderman...Kirsten Dunst’s wig wasn’t sexy enough, Munich was boring, boring! It was real life events!

Alex: We both thought that about the matrix sequels!

Justin: Music, Travis’s 12 Memories wasn’t as good as The Man Who, X&Y was a bland and uninspired follow up to a rush of blood to head which in itself was an ill conceived cash in on Coldplay’s debut Parachutes, John Lennon should still be alive…Okay I will give you that one

Alex: Where the hell did you get that list from?

Justin: From the man at the Choices video outlet in town, that’s right...be careful who you talk to in this crazy messed up world of killing maniacs

Alex: I see

Justin: Comedy ideas...this what really concerns me, none of my ideas have ever been up to scratch, beavers in space "wouldn’t work", a comedy about someone trying to convince everyone around him that he is a famous actor in Hollywood you said was the kind of crap they put on NBC on Monday nights, and what about Home Alone: The Legendary Adventures starring non other than child actor McCauley Culkin himself!

Alex: He’s not still a child you fool, and those ideas rank among your worst. Now have you quite finished?

Justin: Yeah, sorry I’m not entirely sure where I was going with that

Alex: Shall we ring the BBC again see if we can get an interview
Justin: You know what happened last time, they screwed us around on the phone for hours and we must have spoken to about a dozen robot voice menu messages before I finally hung up

Alex: We spoke to Jeremy Clarkson though, I think they put us through to him by mistake, he said some of our ideas were outrageous

Justin: No, he’s a robot too…haven’t you ever seen Top Gear? He’s a mechanical monster

Alex: So I’ll press re-dial yeah? You get back to writing from China with love or whatever your calling your Eastern Bond epic

Justin: I was going to call it never say 決して again actually but whatever

Alex: You see, comedy has to have boundaries you can’t just shove a flute in your ass and play a tune on it and think people are going to think it’s funny, it depends what the tune is obviously, comedy, like music has to have limits…a place where you mustn’t go

Justin: I think you’re wrong, we need to be embracing the comedic boundaries, pushing the button, lifting the envelope and other such Synonyms

Alex: Whatever

Justin: Come on don’t get a hump on, not again

Alex: Again? Shut up

Justin: Come on, people were calling you Mr Camel from down the way

Alex: What the hell does from down the way mean?

Justin: I don’t know, it’s a place, the music man came from down the way, it’s an expression

Alex: Bollocks, there’s a fitting expression for you

Justin: Come on don’t start on me, you’ve seen my medals for bravery and heroism I could take you out in a second

Alex: Your scout’s medals? It’s not like you served in 'Nam

Justin: You don’t want to take me on, I once went one on one with a grizzly bear out in the wilderness, I put his head on a spike

Alex: You mean you once tapped a tame bear on the shoulder in the zoo then ran off because you thought he was looking at you suspiciously

Justin: I could have taken him

Alex: You would have been a light snack for him. He would have taken you down like the Christmas decorations

Justin: Still, I’ve seen things, been places you couldn’t dream of...you ever watch Spooks? I almost joined the MI5 those guys have nothing on me

Alex: Really?

Justin: Yeah!

Alex: Scouts honour?

Justin: Stop messing with my mystique, you know I’m trained in martial arts

Alex: You mean arts and crafts?

Justin: Whatever! Where are my new glasses? I want to work on some ideas

Alex: What these? Jesus, they look like you should be going to go to a Star Trek convention or a LAN party or something

Justin: Very funny

Alex: I’ve been using these as drinks coasters, they make you look sadistic

Justin: Well I’ve been meaning to get some new ones

Alex: Since 1995? Anyway!

Justin: What about a comedy/drama, called never the twain shall meet?

Alex: wow what a great idea!

Justin: Really? You really think so?

Alex: No I was humouring you

Justin: Fine, but I don’t see you coming up with any better ideas!

Alex: That’s because my mind works like a wily old fox, full of cunning...coming up with ideas so insanely epic it could shake the very foundations of the universe to hear them!

Justin: Well I think the universe is up to at least one of your ideas, I’m pretty sure the Earth isn’t going to implode if you tell me!

The Earth Implodes/To Be Continued.

Genius

Ever thought that you had an idea so stupidly epic and orginal you thought your brain might actually explode with sheer excitement? No me neither, but close. I'm talking, John's "great printing business idea" or my "great selling coke like milk idea" and lastly Alex's great idea for a blog name...Blog Party. Sadly all of these have been done and far better than we could have ever managed, although the blog party blog is a total waste of space, damn you Jay! So, I will await your/my next stupidly epic and original ideas and then get ready to mock you/myself when you/I realise they are neither stupidly epic or original. Or something.

Life is too short for fussing and fighting, my friend.

This blog will forever (or, for now) remain impartial to what browser you chose to view it with (lets face it, I don't really "get" html anyway), if there were such web browsers as Internet Fire or Fox Explorer and god willing someday there will be, then those would be the browsers we would recommend. So let us stop the ranting

Shough's Fun Anti Theft Devices For Your Car

An alarm that, when activated plays "who let the thieves out, who...who...who"

A copy of Son Of The Mask left on the passenger seat, as nobody wants to see this film

A copy of Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not left in your cars cd player, as everybody already owns this album

And if your car is really desirable and you don't want it to be stolen, ever, spray paint "I love Cheaper By The Dozen 2" on the side panels. Extreme, but it will work like a charm.

The Ultimate Test

So yesterday I took a test at Addenbrooks to determine how mentally sound I am, as a baseline so they have something to compare it to later on in my life if they need to. Questions ranged from the insane to the hilarious. I had to draw some shapes, count symbols and match up words with pictures (I felt like a child, but they told me everybody has to take the same test and this includes people with dementia for example) they tested my short term memory by getting me to remember three words (I forget which, sorry hehe) and a long term memory test which I kind of sucked at, it was someone's address you had to remember it was something like John Maxwell 24 Market Street something town Lincolnshire. My first question was what day of the week is it? and I was like "errr....*longpause*....Tuesday" I had to tell them that JFK was the president who was shot in the 1960's and who are current PM is among other less interesting things. I also had to say as many words starting with the letter 'P' as I could, following that I had to name as many animals as I could...I said as many as I could till I got stuck then I laughed manically (inside my head of course) and said..."beaver" pretty legendary then!